I have made a couple additions to the Wall of Shame.

Fred, I’m officially kicking you off of the Sherlock Homies. This hiding place is complete rubbish.

Let me tell you something about Carrie Brownstein. We were best friends in the 90’s. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in 2002, I started going out with my first boyfriend Fred who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to New York City, and Carrie was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Fred, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my DJ spin night, which was an all-girls DJ spin night, I was like, “Carrie, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their little black dresses. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her sister (who’s making jewelry now) called my sister (who’s got her life on track) and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of Sleater-Kinney because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for Wild Flag, and all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on coke.

Art by Jade (@merjade)

Even old timers can pickle that.